


Give Your Love

by Seven_tan



Category: No Fandom, Original Work
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blindness, Dirty Talk, Dungeons & Dragons 5th Edition, Elves, Elvish, Hand & Finger Kink, Idiots in Love, M/M, Morning Sex, Multiple Orgasms, Pakottaa doesn't have a lot of experience but he's trying his best, Pining, Praise Kink, Riding, Sex-related anxiety, Temperature Play, Tender Boning, Tender Sex, While Niles has a lot of experience sexually but not a lot romantically that he actually enjoyed, a mess, because Niles is a p e r v e r t, because Pakottaa has a cursed arm with a fae in it and Niles is a PERVERT, dungeons and dragons boys being gay and in love, from a recent kidnapping, just a teeny tiny bit of PTSD, kind of, they've been dating for a while but Niles has a bunch of stress and insecurities, this is super self indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-02
Updated: 2017-12-02
Packaged: 2019-02-09 11:05:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,929
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12886548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seven_tan/pseuds/Seven_tan
Summary: An out of context morning sex.AKA: blind bard rides his boyfriend! they have tender morning sex! everyone has fun!___The first thought that Niles has when he wakes, tangled in sheets and soft skin is just, oh, it's warm. There's a hand on his sternum, buried up under his sleep shirt and brushing along his skin in ticklish patterns that make goosebumps raise in their wake. He sighs, shifts gently, pressing back into their shared heat sleepily.





	Give Your Love

The first thought that Niles has when he wakes, tangled in sheets and soft skin is just, oh, it's warm. There's a hand on his sternum, buried up under his sleep shirt and brushing along his skin in ticklish patterns that make goosebumps raise in their wake. He sighs, shifts gently, pressing back into their shared heat sleepily. Pakottaa is all soft shapes, rounded edges, but he is a solid line against Niles’ back and it's comfortable, perfect -

His hand freezes in place. Without thinking, Niles curls his own fingers around it, brings it up to his lips. “I-” Pakottaa sounds a bit choked, but in the way that Niles knows he’s already helping to alleviate it, and he can't help but smile. “Sorry I - Didn't mean to wake you.” 

Niles hums, presses another soft kiss to Pakottaa's knuckles. “The best way to be woken up, I think,” he says, or at least he means to - his voice is rough and deep with sleep, it comes out more a purr. He turns, so that Pakottaa is pressed against his chest and slides down far enough to kiss him, softly. Pakottaa's hand hovers over him, briefly, before curling against the side of his neck, thumbing his jaw. Fingers thread through his hair, gently combing through small snarls and tangles, and Niles smiles softly against the insistent, gentle press of Pakottaa's lips. He traces the shape of him, follows the dots near his shoulders with his fingertips, the long thin line from his collarbone to just below his navel, which makes him squirm slightly. Pakottaa has his cursed arm tucked under his pillow, Niles discovers, for either support or courtesy or both, which, cute. His breath hitches just slightly when Niles accidentally runs his fingers over his nipple, and Pakottaa presses forward, captures his lip between his teeth.

“Oh.” Pakottaa whispers against his mouth when they part. “Uh, I,” and Niles makes a small sound like the beginning of a laugh, he knows in an abstract way why Pakottaa is restless, reads it in the way his hips are angled away from him while the rest of his body is as close as it can be. “I really didn't mean to wake you up - I just. Um.” 

“I don't mind.” Niles smiles, and it's so, so true. He sleeps best next to Pakottaa, dreams sweeter and softer and warmer, and he can never remember Pakottaa’s face when he wakes but he finds touching him first thing to be comforting, reaffirming. It makes him feel  _ right _ , like this is the way that things should be, like he wants to do this every day for the rest of his life. Niles can be slow to wake sometimes, a leftover trait from his stint as a homebody, but he steals as many moments like that as possible. The longer he can stay with Pakottaa curled up against his back, with hot breath on his neck and Pakottaa's soft skin blanketing his own the better. He presses closer, tangles his legs with Pakottaa’s, hums. “What time is it?” 

“Early. We could go back to sleep?” he replies, but his hand plays with the soft cotton of the hem of Niles’ sleep shirt, slides over the soft skin of his hip. Niles takes his revenge by slipping his leg in between Pakottaa’s, knocking him gently onto his back. “Uhh. Or not.” Pakottaa slides his hand out from under the pillow, and it makes him shiver to feel it pressed against the heated skin of his back. He bites his lip, and Niles can feel Pakottaa lick his own in response under his thumb, “Definitely not.” 

Niles laughs, and it comes out breathy and strange because now Pakottaa is grabbing at his ass with his cold arm, dragging Niles down by the back of his neck to kiss him. The angle isn't great, unfortunately, but Niles is well practiced in leaning down to reach him at this point. There's a crick in his neck almost instantly, but the way that Pakottaa arches into him hungrily makes up for it in spades. 

Sex with Pakottaa is - he's had a lot of bad sex, of awkward or uncomfortable sex, but he's also had encounters that were fantastic, satisfying, the kind of sex that makes you want to have a cigarette and buy a ring. Sex with Pakottaa makes all of that seem boring in comparison. He's challenging, interesting, awkward but unrepentant, eager, earnest, and a very fucking fast learner. Niles doesn't know what he expected, but he should have expected this: sex with Pakottaa is the same as being with Pakottaa in any other way, tender and strange and wonderful. 

Pakottaa tries to bully him over but Niles doesn't let him, laces his fingers together with Pakottaa's cold ones and presses his thigh just a bit higher. His voice cracks when he moans, and his free hand scrambles for purchase against the back of Niles’ sleep shirt. Niles licks his lips, moves his leg back and swings it over Pakottaa's hips. The fingers under his tremble as he moves, back and forth. He almost didn't realize he was hard but now with Pakottaa rutting into him it's impossible to ignore. “Oh,” Pakottaa bites out, runs his hand up Niles’ stomach, “Stars, I - take this off?” 

The smile on Niles’ face just broadens. His sleep shirt is almost stifling now, especially with how it keeps getting in the way of Pakottaa touching him, so he obliges. He tosses it somewhere off to the side and Pakottaa's hands are instantly on him again, skimming up his sides and making him shudder. Another thing that's surprised him about Pakottaa is how talkative he is when you get his motor running - he's mostly quiet, for now, with the occasional murmured curse, but Niles hopes to change that soon. “Can I see?” he asks, trails his fingers along Pakottaa's jaw, the shell of his ear. The skin is - strange? warped? - and he deliberately moves his hand back to Pakottaa's shoulder when he feels him tense. There's a moment where all Niles can feel is bitter regret for how long it took them to find him, how he's unintentionally made him uncomfortable or sad or - but Pakottaa grabs his hand, presses a kiss to the centre of his palm, and he can feel the soft curl of a shy, apologetic smile. Pakottaa's other hand is still on his waist, and there's a pause before Pakottaa kisses his hand again, another chaste brush at the base of his thumb and - Niles almost feels bad for the soft sigh that slips out of him, it feels almost out of place now, but he can't help it. Lips travel up his hand and he shivers, breath hitching as Pakottaa nips at his fingertips. “Pakottaa, I-” he tries to laugh, but it comes out strange, and he cuts off the sentence with a click of his teeth when he feels Pakottaa suck a wet kiss into his wrist. 

“Yes?” he replies, and through the fog of arousal that's clouded up his brain Niles can't tell if he's being genuine or cheeky or maybe a Pakottaa-exclusive combination of the two. 

That his hands are a weak point is the worst kept secret in the world. “I - you - that feels -” Niles makes a very undignified noise at the scrape of teeth over his pulse point, can feel the blush spread to his collar. He squirms, ruts down in small jerky little movements that he didn't intend to start but now he can't stop because the friction in tandem with Pakottaa kissing red marks into his wrists, it’s  _ divine _ . Pakottaa pets him, a soft soothing motion along the swell of his thigh, and Niles can feel him pressed hot and firm against his ass through his sleep pants when he pulls Niles down on top of him. Now that - that's an idea. Niles grinds against him, relishing the noise that Pakottaa makes before rasping, “Oh, do you-” and then stops himself because they have done this one time and it went very differently. He can't see it but he can feel Pakottaa's eyes searing him from underneath him, and he bites his lip. “Do you want to fuck me?” is out of his mouth in a breathy rush before he can stop to consider the consequences. Instinctively, Niles hands go for Pakottaa's face, expecting to find - interest, maybe, embarrassment almost certainly, but the slack ‘o’ of his mouth clamps into a thin, tight line, eyebrows pinched. Alarm? Anxiety? There's a long beat of silence, and Niles is about to take it back or propose something else. The last thing he wants is to make Pakottaa uncomfortable. He's not a selfish lover, wouldn't dream of asking a partner to do something he didn't want to do, especially not in the bedroom, and  _ especially _ not Pakottaa. trying to read the mood is hard when you're relying on exclusively facial expression that you can only feel and intuition, but Niles thinks that maybe he's got an idea for this one. “We don't have to do anything you're not interested in,” he says, softly, and he instantly feels the furrow of his brow deepen, the flutter of eyelashes as he blinks: surprised, maybe? “Or comfortable with.”

“No I - I don't, uh,” Pakottaa stops, and Niles can feel his cheeks heat beneath his fingertips. “I don't … not want to.” Both of Pakottaa's hands are still on his legs, and he can feel him tapping his fingers gently. 

It's strange, how easily he can read Pakottaa's silences now, the long trail of anxiety in between his words, or the fullness he feels in them when he is content. This is uncharted territory, hot and embarrassed coupled with jittery nerves and a dash of Pakottaa not knowing how to tell him what he wants to say. “What is it? Are you nervous?” he asks, even though he knows the answer is and probably will be almost always yes. Niles has to resist the urge to touch, to soothe or entice or _ something _ , but seeing the play of expressions on Pakottaa's face is more important right now.

There's another silence, where Niles feels his own nerves catch up with him. Did he ask too much? He can feel Pakottaa hold his breath, close his eyes, and Niles can't help but smooth out the lines from his frown and brush some of the hair back away from his face. Pakottaa sighs, “Yeah. I - I'm not, uh. I haven't really done this? A lot. And uhh, I'm. Not great. I don't want you to -” he stops, swallows, “I don't really - I'm not super good at knowing, uh. Fuck.” 

The last part comes out in a mumbled rush of sound. Pakottaa doesn't draw away from him, but he does turn his face instinctively because that's - embarrassment, shame, and it leaves a sour taste in Niles’ mouth to think that someone could  _ be _ so cruel to Pakottaa, to be so insensitive as not ask what he wants, to make him feel ashamed of whatever intimacies he tried to share with them. He can't help but make a small, soothing sound, take Pakottaa's hands in his and tangle his fingers with his own. Niles leans down, plants a soft kiss on Pakottaa's hairline. “Like I said, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do,” he breathes, “but I want you to. I want to feel you, to know you.” He moves Pakottaa's hands, smooth them over his waist, where they thankfully stay with fingers spread against soft skin, trace the small indents and puckers of scars that Niles usually forgets about. Cold fingers make their way to the perfect circle of scar tissue below his breastbone, and Niles can't help but shiver and move into it. “If you want me, you only have to ask.” 

“I do,” it's small, hoarse and honest, and Niles smiles, traces Pakottaa's chest with his hands. 

“I am yours,” and Niles doesn't mean for it to come out so heavy, thick with promise and truth but - 

Pakottaa threads his hand into the hair at the nape of his neck, pulls him down at the same time that he surges up. their teeth knock together and Niles is mid surprised laugh but it's easily countable as one of the best kisses he's ever had. Pakottaa's hands are everywhere all at once, like he doesn't know what he wants to touch first, like he wants all of him all at once, and Niles hums appreciatively. It's like Pakottaa is fighting him with teeth and tongue, trying to distract him from whatever he's doing with his mouth and it almost works, except Niles knows exactly what he's trying to do. He ruts down into him, and the slow grind has Pakottaa whining, breathless for long enough that Niles can turn the kiss hot and wet and slow, a dance instead of a fistfight. He's restless, always moving and fighting and running, and Niles wants him to be able to have something soft, wants to be someone Pakottaa can trust with everything: a rock, or an anchor or - or something. Pakottaa shakes, can't stop making small breathless noises - it's hard to wax poetic when Pakottaa is being so distractingly lovely. 

“Niles, fuck, oh,” he says when he stops to suck a red mark just under his jaw, “I - I thought you wanted me to, um.” 

Niles hums, leaves a few more parting, delicate kisses to Pakottaa's flushed face before sitting up entirely, planting his hands on Pakottaa's chest. He smiles, lets something hot and wicked creep into it, “I do. Very much.” 

“You're -” Pakottaa sounds like he's going to die. A pitiful, disappointed sound comes out of his mouth when Niles climbs off of both him and the bed, but it cuts off quickly into choked silence when Niles slides his sleep pants down his hips. “Gods you - what do you  _ mean?”  _

“Pants would only get in the way, Pakottaa,” Niles teases. He slides his bare knee along the sheets until he hits soft flannel and has to resist the urge to just climb back on top of him. Instead, he sits beside him, runs his hands over the pattern outlining Pakottaa's chest and stomach. Pakottaa is - stock still, frozen with his hand curled like a brand over Niles naked hip and that's. Worrying. “Pakottaa?” he calls, and it's only through the good graces of Pakottaa's skin on his that it isn't more reminiscent of him calling out to phantoms in the dark of night when he's alone and scared and remembering. Pakottaa sits very still for a very long time, so Niles tries to turn his hands’ movement from seductive to soothing, waits and breathes and reminds himself to be patient. 

“I-” Pakottaa's voice cracks alongside the silence, and he holds onto Niles like a lifeline. “I really don't know what i'm doing. I don't - I can't tell what you, um. what you want? It's hard for me to - to get tells and read people. I really - I don't want this to be bad for you because I don't know how to make it. Good? I'm sorry, I want to I’m just.”

Niles catches his hand mid sweeping, self-indicative gesture completely by accident, and Pakottaa jumps. “It's okay, Pakottaa,” his hand curls in, thumb brushing along the crease along Pakottaa's mouth, drawn tight in a thin line, and he gives Pakottaa's hand a soft squeeze. “I'll take the lead.”

“I -” Pakottaa bites his lip, and Niles runs his hands through the mess of his hair gently. “Okay?”

Niles smiles wickedly, “What I mean is, I want to ride you.” The sound Pakottaa makes is somewhere between a quiet whine and a surprised choking noise. Niles laughs, guides Pakottaa's hands to his waist where they are shaking on his skin. “If that's alright?” he can't help but tease, and he smooths his hand down Pakottaa's chest. Pakottaa only groans in answer, and Niles feels his heart stutter under his palm. “You don't need to worry about it being bad. Communication is key, remember? I’ll tell you if you do anything wrong, just like last time.”  _ (And when you're doing things right _ , he thinks, because they've only done this once but Niles isn't an idiot.) Niles strokes his hand down Pakottaa's chest again, this time not stopping and instead petting over the front of Pakottaa's pants. Pakottaa makes a high, shivery sound, pushing up into his palm. “You're amazing,” he purrs, and leans down to kiss Pakottaa's cheek. “and we're amazing together, so therefore  _ this _ will be amazing.” 

One of Pakottaa's hands flies up to tangle in his hair and Niles is pulled down into him for a kiss, Pakottaa’s breath a whisper of “oh,” against his lips. He's - excited, nervous, he wants this to be good for Pakottaa too - Pakottaa makes him feel in all kinds of new and interesting and unspeakably complicated ways, makes him honest and happy and shy and bold all in one moment. He wants to have everything. He wants to experience everything by Pakottaa's side. He makes a sweet sound that might be a laugh or a moan as Pakottaa slides his tongue against his, and he knows that if he could he would kiss him forever. 

He hooks his fingertips into the waistband of Pakottaa’s pants and tugs gently, just enough to expose more soft skin, and nips at his bottom lip before pulling away with a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth. “This okay?” he asks, and Pakottaa wiggles and shifts under him, huffing impatiently. Niles trails his fingers upwards, follows the pattern of dots from where they start below Pakotta’s navel. Gently, he kisses the side of Pakottaa’s jaw, down the side of Pakottaa’s neck, and his whole body shudders. “Pakottaa,” he murmurs, barely audible, not a question. 

Sometime Pakottaa gets lost. If he's anxious or overwhelmed, he gets quiet, tries to figure it out by himself. Niles sometimes makes it worse, nudges too hard or adds things to Pakottaa's list of worries that he doesn't mean to, but he knows that sometimes he needs a reminder to come back. Pakottaa's breath hitches as his kisses trail further down, over his collarbones, lips tracing the pattern of scars on his flesh. “Y-Yeah,” he stutters out after a beat, “yeah,” and Niles feels him shift and wiggle, and Pakottaa kicks away something that lands with a soft sound on the floor. Niles smiles, and if it's a little wicked who could blame him? Pakottaa's underwear are also gone, as Niles discovers when his fingers stray down again, past where Pakottaa's scarification ends. 

Niles sits up again, reaches with his free hand over to the bedside table drawer - there's lube in here, he knows there is, he used it earlier today, even, but it still takes him a minute to find it sight unseen. Bottle in hand, he returns to his original position, straddling Pakottaa's hips, and their erections are flush against each other now, and it's all kinds of hot and perfect and - Niles moans, grabs onto Pakottaa's bicep and grinds down, and they slide together and “Pakottaa,” he says again, breathless, wanting, “kiss me?” 

He's expecting Pakottaa to maybe pull him down again, but instead Pakottaa sits up and just surges forward. The movement shocks another sound out from Niles and Pakottaa takes advantage of his open mouth to slip his tongue inside. Pakottaa kisses him like Niles is water and he's a man who hasn't seen a drop in days, and Niles does his best to reciprocate. Pakottaa sinks his teeth into Niles bottom lip, sucks it into his mouth briefly, before kissing him again. He's distracted by it enough that Pakottaa taking the bottle from him and the sound of the cap opening barely registers. Niles sits up when Pakottaa breaks the kiss, curious, but Pakottaa's mouth is back on him almost immediately, sucking kisses into the skin of his neck. It's - rough, quick and dirty and Niles can't help but tip his head back and pant. There's a moment where Niles is sure that Pakottaa is hesitating, so he rolls hips so that they grind together and there's a soft thud of something hitting the bed before Pakottaa moans, one hand rubbing over Niles’ chest. Pakottaa plucks at his nipple, rolls it between finger and thumb, and Niles bites his lip against another sweet sound and trembles. Now that Niles has started grinding them together, it doesn't seem like he can physically stop himself, and the friction is so, so good - “ _ Please _ ,” he groans, and he's not sure what he's asking for but words come tumbling out of his mouth after it like water, “Gods, please, yes, Pakottaa - please touch me -”

There's fingertips searing like a brand into the crease between his hip and thigh suddenly, and Niles feels his breath stutter to a stop. They're - light, either teasing or hesitating, barely a brush of skin on skin trailing towards his cock but Niles is hyper aware of it. “I am touching you,” murmurs Pakottaa against his throat, before sucking another kiss into his skin. Niles can't tell if he's being serious, but the thoughts he had scatter when Pakottaa wraps his hand around him. It's - slick, wet with something and - “Like this?” 

The fire in him licks higher and he pushes helplessly forward, gasping “Yes, yes -” and he feels Pakottaa’s lips curl into a smile against his skin. He digs his fingertips into Pakottaa's shoulders, desperately trying not to fuck forward into his fist. It's slow, torturous, Pakottaa glides his fingers over the crown and Niles feels like he might shake apart. Heat races down his spine, pools in his belly - he can feel the flush on his cheeks spread to his chest. There's a constant stream of noise that spills out of his lips, and he has to - stop, he won't be able to hear Pakottaa - and he takes one trembling hand and covers his mouth -

or at least he tries, but Pakottaa pulls his head down and kisses him before he can, swallows his noises. He's got his hand in Pakottaa's hair before he realizes, holding on like he’ll fall if he doesn't. Pakottaa rubs his thumb along Niles’ slit and he  _ whines _ , pulls away and presses his face into the crook of Pakottaa's neck instead. 

“Good?” 

Pakottaa sounds out of breath, too, like maybe just this might be enough. He pulls Niles’ head back, gently, just far enough that he can lean in and suck another mark into his skin. “Perfect,” Niles gasps, “You're perfect, you're so -” Pakottaa moans, the barest brush of air, and Niles has to laugh, tries to, but it comes out strangled and strange. Pakottaa lets go of his hair in favour of pulling him closer by the hip, and Niles own hand skitters down to the crease of Pakottaa's thigh. The slick grip Pakottaa has on him is tight and sure, he keeps making soft reverent noises and, Stars, Niles wishes he could see, wishes he could know the kind of face he’s making, know how the pretty blush he's wearing stains his soft skin. He can feel his heart beating a tattoo into his ribs, stuck in his throat and Niles hums, takes his shaking hand from Pakottaa’s hair and cups his cheek. The heat that's racing through him is making it too hard to concentrate on visualizing what's under his fingers, so instead he traces the soft ‘o’ of Pakottaa's lips, feels the flutter of his eyelashes on his fingertips. Pakottaa turns his head and places a delicate kiss in the centre of his palm, making him shiver at the little zing of sensation, the curl of  __ sweet warmth in his chest. “Pakottaa…” he pants, “ _ Melethen, íruidh- _ aah… F-” Niles stumbles. He can feel heat pooling low in his belly, and he knows he won't last at this rate. The blush on his cheeks darkens, warms his entire face and ears. “Want you...” 

“Oh,” Pakottaa hums, pleased. Niles sits up on his knees, impatient, and he can feel his thighs shaking - Pakottaa's hands were jostled off of him at the movement but both of them skim up towards his hips, curl over the swell of his ass and he hums appreciatively, but Pakottaa just rests there, sits back a bit. 

Niles huffs and wiggles, feels Pakottaa place a gentle kiss just below his clavicle placating and soft. One hand finds its way back around to his front, a single finger tracing a ticklish pattern into his skin, follows the jut of his hip - he sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, makes a helpless little sound when it swirls over the head of his dick, follows a trail of pre down to the base. “What are you doing?” he gasps, feels the heat of his palm settle on his thigh. 

“Looking.” he murmurs, and Niles has never heard Pakottaa sound like this, voice low, serious, thick and honey sweet. Pakottaa trails down, mouthing more soft kisses into his skin, and Niles can feel his whole body trembling with anticipation. Pakottaa’s hair is soft, and he tangles his fingers in it gently. “You’re so …” his breath is no more than a sigh, and Niles arches into him with a cry when Pakottaa sets hit teeth around his nipple instead of continuing. His hand curls back around him, and Niles - he feels - the pace is agonizingly slow, teasing, and yet -

“ _ Please _ \- ah, Pakottaa I - I can’t-” At this rate, he’ll - he’s beyond embarrassment now, but he didn’t think he’d have to  _ ask - _ “F - fuck -” Pakottaa hums, he sounds pleased, and Niles bucks involuntarily forwards when the speed of his hand picks up. This - wasn’t what he meant! He presses his face into Pakottaa’s shoulder and groans, tries to make words work but it’s just a series of hopeless sounds strung together. One of his errant thrusts rubs him up against the hard lines of Pakottaa’s stomach and he - fuck. Fuck. 

Pakotta’s hand curls over the head, and the tightly, coiled heat in his stomach releases all at once, Pakottaa’s noise of surprise almost lost in his own long, breathless sound. His thighs are quivering so badly he has to cling onto Pakottaa’s shoulders for fear of falling, Pakottaa’s mouth feels like lightning on his skin - he jerks Niles through his orgasm, until Niles is making small noises of protest, until he moves back so he’s sitting on the bed between Pakottaa’s legs because he physically can’t hold himself up anymore.

“Stars.” he breathes, some minutes later when he can make words again, because Gods, there’s no way he didn’t just come all over Pakottaa by accident. Pakottaa hums, and Niles feels his blush kick up again when Pakottaa snaps his fingers, to perform a quick Prestidigitation, the smell of cool water and wildflowers mingling with the musk of sex. He reaches for Pakottaa, intent on at least getting him off as well before they both inevitably fall back asleep, but he tangles their fingers together instead, brings Nile’s hand to his lips and kisses his knuckles before letting go. He frowns - does Pakottaa not want him to? But then Pakottaa grabs his hips and pulls him forward again, moves so that Niles is sitting up on his thighs. “What - ” he starts, but the familiar pop of a corked bottle interrupts him. 

Oh, hell. He goes from a touch disappointed but sated to eager again in no time at all. Pakottaa is quiet, but there’s soft wet sounds happening somewhere in the vicinity of his ribs and there’s liquid hot anticipation curling around his lungs. 

Everything that Pakottaa is doing, whatever it happens to be (Niles is pretty sure he has a good idea, but he’s been wrong before), stops, and Niles can hear the soft sound of Pakottaa swallowing. “Is it, uh. Is this okay, still?” and Niles has to laugh a bit, circles his arms around Pakottaa’s neck because - “The - I mean - What you, um. From before.”

He leans forward, presses chaste kisses to Pakottaa’s face that ends up being on the bridge of his nose, his cheek, the corner of his mouth. He lingers there, draws back so that they’re barely not touching. “Please do,” he laughs, husky, breathless, “I want you any and every way I can have you. I just didn’t think I’d get more than one of those, tonight.” 

Pakottaa makes a small, soft sound, and kisses him again, but this one doesn’t stay chaste for long. Pakottaa seems desperate, and Niles can hardly blame him - he’s barely given him any attention. It’s languid and slow, but Pakottaa tugs him flush against him with one hand gripped tight around his hip, presses them together so they are as close as possible, and he’s moaning shakily every time they move together. Niles is still soft, but he doesn’t let that stop him, lets Pakottaa rut into the soft skin of his hip, runs his hands down the markings on Pakottaa’s chest just to feel him shiver. 

Suddenly, there’s the shock of cold, cold fingers, slick and wet, tentatively trailing along the cleft of his ass. Niles has to - he bites down on his lip to muffle the shout just a bit too late, and his whole body jerks violently against his will. Pakottaa’s hand twitches back, likely hovering over him because he can’t feel the chill of it anywhere. 

“Okay?”  

Stars, is it? Niles honestly doesn’t know, but Pakottaa sounds suddenly anxious again, enough that’s Niles is concerned that he’ll stop and, hell. It’s enough for him to nod, because he doesn’t trust that if he opens his mouth when Pakottaa puts his hand on him again he won't yelp again, or have his teeth start chattering, or something equally ridiculous. He gets no reply, so he scrambles to recover, “Y - yes. Just, surprised me, that’s all.” There’s a short pause, but there’s a ghost of a touch on his lower back, just enough to raise goosebumps, and he shivers again. He looks to the approximate area that Pakottaa’s eyes are before leaning in and brushing his lips against his cheekbone, the corner of his mouth. “Please, Pakottaa,” he murmurs in between kisses, “I’ve been thinking about this, I want to feel all of you.” 

He isn’t expecting it, so he jumps again when those fingers return. It’s not - bad, exactly, just a lot to process all at once in a way that leaves him shaking. They don’t press in, right away, just rubbing over his hole, and it feels - it feels - 

It feels like he still might be a little loose from when he fingered himself after his shower earlier, and Niles moans when Pakottaa slips a finger in him easily. He’s shivering, because Stars, it’s cold, but he works his hips down against it in a way that he hopes is more encouraging than helpless. “You’re -?” Pakottaa sounds surprised, confused, and turned on all at once, like he hasn’t settled on an emotion so he’s opted for all of them.

Niles has to laugh, it’s breathless and strange, but he does. Potatoes and anxiety, indeed. “I told you - I’ve been thinking about this,” Niles moans, smiles wickedly, “In the shower. Fucked myself and thought about you, how perfect you’d feel, how, aah - how lovely you are -” his voice hitches as Pakottaa draws out, presses two slick fingers back in and makes a lovely, wonderful,  _ filthy  _ noise. Niles bites his lip. He didn’t think he’d be able to get back into it so quickly, especially with how cold Pakottaa’s fingers are, but he can feel himself hardening again as Pakottaa grinds his hips against his as much as he’s able. 

He slips his hand down in between their bodies, and this time he isn’t stopped when he goes for Pakottaa’s dick. “Niles!” Pakottaa chokes, “Fuck - I need to concentrate, ah - !” Teeth sink into the skin just below his collarbone, and Niles hisses. He jacks Pakottaa slow, in time with the steady thrusts of his fingers, because fuck, if he doesn’t focus on something else he might go mad. 

Two fingers is a stretch, even having done it earlier, and Niles squeezes his eyes shut against the sensation of those cold fingers spreading him apart. Pakottaa is mouthing nonsense into his skin as he works him over, opens him up, and while it's not the most talented job anyone has ever done, he shudders like a live wire when Pakottaa curls his fingers along his prostate. “There-” he sighs, and immediately chokes on it when Pakottaa presses his fingers back hard in the same spot relentlessly, again and again, until Niles feels himself become fully hard, until his hips are shaking. “Yes, fuck, you're perfect -  _ More. _ ”

“You're so - Stars, Niles.” Pakottaa’s voice sounds as raw as he feels. He sounds overwhelmed, and Niles spares a brief second to be worried before his thoughts are scattered by Pakottaa biting gently into the tender skin just above his nipple. The sound Niles makes is thoroughly wrecked, a ragged gasp that tears its way out of him as he fucks back down into Pakottaa’s hand. Pakottaa seems determined to destroy him with his hands and mouth alone, and Niles is ruined more and more by every searing touch and begging for more. 

He takes his hand off Pakottaa's cock because he's doing just a terrible job of keeping any semblance of tempo, and Pakottaa makes a soft, disappointed noise. Niles bites his lip, he wants - “I wish I was shorter,” he finds himself babbling without the consent of his brain, “I could suck you off while you finger me. I love hearing the noises you make, they're so - fuck, Pakottaa that feels so good -” he hears Pakottaa's breath catch in a stutter, and continues breathlessly, “Please more, another, I want you, I -” 

“You're fine,” stumbles out of Pakottaa's mouth and, Gods, he loves him. He would pull down the moon if Pakottaa only asked.

Niles’ responding laugh is cut short by Pakottaa slipping a third finger slowly in alongside the others. It's cold, it's  _ freezing _ , and Niles holds completely, perfectly still until Pakottaa is knuckle deep and then he can't stop shivering. “Ah-” he croaks, moves up and away and then immediately jerks back down because, hells, it shouldn't feel good but it does and Niles has done weirder stuff and got off on it, he can roll with this - “oh, Stars,  _ fuck,  _ that's cold.” 

The soft confused noise that Pakottaa makes is strangled into a horrified, “Oh.” There's a beat in which Pakottaa is completely still, frozen solid, and Niles opens his useless eyes, frowns. Pakottaa is stiff as a board - did he do something wrong? The silence ticks by for much longer than comfortable, and with every passing second his anxiety ramps up another notch. He reaches for Pakottaa’s face with his name on his tongue just a second too late. “Shit,” Pakottaa wheezes, and Niles has to bite his lip against a rough disappointed noise when he tugs his hand away. 

“Pakottaa?” He hears the rustle of sheets, feels Pakottaa's wiggling scoot him back and away from him and, oh, no. Pakottaa's face is too far for him to put his hands on, and he furrows his brow, puts one instead on Pakottaa's chest, just above his heart. He can feel his heartbeat under his palm, fast as a jackrabbit’s. They were doing so well. “Pakottaa are you - ” 

“Fuck- I, sorry, I forgot about - ” Niles hears him swallow, and shuts his mouth to hear him out. “You didn't, uh - why didn't you - Stars, fuck, I'm - sorry.”

Niles makes a small, soft sound.  _ Oh _ . “You don’t have anything to apologize for,  _ Melethen _ ,” again, the endearment slips out without his permission, and Niles bites his lip. But, of course this is what Pakottaa’s anxiety is about. It’s easy to overlook someone else’s feelings if you can’t see them on their face, and they were doing so well that it was easy to forget that Pakottaa was concerned about topping him to begin with. A single fumble of any kind probably would have landed them here. “I enjoyed it. If I hadn’t, I would have said something, like I promised.” And even though he delicately leaves out the part where he wasn’t sure in the beginning, Pakottaa is still frozen stiff and solid. Niles can practically feel the mood dying around them. He resists the urge to sigh. He knew this wouldn’t exactly be easy, and he’s more frustrated with himself than with Pakottaa, but the fact that he’d managed to bring everything to a grinding halt so quickly is concerning in and of itself. “We can stop here, if you like. You don’t have to do anything for me that you don’t want, like I said. I only want what you want.” 

Silence. Niles does sigh this time, and moves to climb off from where he’s perched on Pakottaa’s thighs.

“Do you-” Pakottaa’s (warm) hand grabs onto Niles’ wrist where it’s still planted on Pakottaa’s chest to stop him, and Niles jumps. “Do you want to stop?”

A loaded question if he’s ever heard one. Niles swallows. “No,” he blurts, and winces immediately afterwards. Damn Pakottaa and damn the honesty he brings out in him. “I just - I want everything that you’ll let me have. If you don’t want this, then that’s fine with me. We can do something else, I won’t be upset, or disappointed, if you’re worried about that. If you’re just doing this for me, I - I don’t want that.” Niles bites down on his tongue, he’s going on and on trying to fix something that he’s not even sure needs fixing yet. “We can do something else, or stop, if that’s what you want.”

_ Please say something _ , he thinks, aggressively, tries to project it with his face. He doesn’t want to accidentally put his foot in his mouth and make this whole scene entirely unsalvageable.

“I don’t-” Pakottaa makes a frustrated noise, and something sad bubbles up in Niles’ throat. “What do you want?”

“You. Always you,” Niles says, quietly, honestly. He doesn’t really think that that’s the answer Pakottaa is looking for either, because Pakottaa stays quiet for another long moment after that. Niles moves his hand, threads his fingers through Pakottaa’s gently, and Pakottaa squeezes his hand. It’s overwhelmingly tender, somehow, makes something golden and wonderful curl up in his chest instead and brings a soft smile to his face. “I don’t - I never want to make you do something that you don’t want to do, Pakottaa.  _ Especially _ if it involves sex. Do you want to stop?”

“No! No, I - Stars, ugh. I’m sorry.” 

Niles smiles and squeezes his hand again, “Don’t be. You trust me?”

Pakottaa huffs, quietly, like the very question offended him. “Um, yeah,” he says after a quick second of silence, where Niles thinks he probably nodded.

Even though he knew what the answer would be, it still makes his heart flutter to hear it. He hums, “Then, trust me to tell you if there’s something that’s bothering me. I know it doesn’t fix everything, but maybe it will help. I trust you, also, to tell me if something’s wrong.” Pakottaa makes a small noise that sounds agreeable enough, so Niles squeezes his hand again and lets go. 

He hears the creaking of the bed as Pakottaa sits up again, feels the soft tug of fingers in his hair and he sighs, leans into the touch. Pakottaa’s face is warm and soft under his fingertips, neutral save for a furrowed brow that he smooths out with his thumb. Niles traces the round ridges of the scars on Pakottaa’s cheekbones, follows their path downwards until he slides to the corners of his mouth, where he places a soft, chaste kiss. He can feel Pakottaa’s cheeks heat, and he presses his lips to his forehead as well, familiar, and the soft, pleased hum that Pakottaa makes makes him smile.

Niles quirks his lips again. He wants to be as clear as possible, so that there’s no confusion on Pakottaa’s part for next time, because if Niles has anything to say about it, there  _ will _ be one. “As for your cold hand - it’s, well, it’s strange. It’s a lot to take in all at once, especially inside, but I don’t hate it - quite the opposite actually.” Niles grins, “A little temperature play never hurt anybody, especially not me. I didn’t think you’d forgotten about it, I did mean it when I said it was fine when you checked in with me, but, if you’re of a mind, I’d appreciate maybe a heads up next time.” He plants another quick kiss on Pakottaa’s lips after he says it, just to maybe soften the blow a little bit, but then pulls back and smiles gently at him again. “Other than that, you’ve been amazing so far, Pakottaa. I’d love to continue. Do you still want that?”

Pakottaa’s lips touch his again, a brief fleeting thing. His brow knits together, a small frown, and he feels it against the pad of his thumb when Pakottaa bites his lip. “Yeah, I - yeah.” 

“Perfect.” Niles smiles, but when he goes to lean in to capture his mouth again, Pakottaa's hand on his shoulder stops him.

It skims down to his wrist, holds it gently, like Niles is something tender and precious and it makes something yellow gold and warm swell up in his chest. Pakottaa swallows, his eyelashes brush against Niles’ fingertip as he shuts his eyes. “You, uh. Do you? Still?” he blurts, eventually, and -

-and Niles is stupidly,  _ stupidly _ in love with him. Fuck. “Yes. Stars, yes,” he laughs, delighted. “I want you, Pakottaa. I want everything you’ll give me. I want you in every conceivable, possible configuration, and when we’ve run through that list, I want to get  _ creative _ . I -” Niles shuts his mouth in a hurry, bites down on the beginning of  _ love you _ , because timing, Niles, you made that mistake once already. He swallows it and starts again. “We have literally hundreds of years ahead of us. If it’s not perfect the first time we do something, we can practice it until it is.” 

There was more to it that he’d wanted to say, but suddenly his mouth is full of Pakottaa’s tongue, insistent, determined. Pakottaa kisses like a fucking expert, and Niles moans when he nips at his bottom lip. His back hits the bed with a soft thud, and Pakottaa follows him down, presses him into the soft cotton sheets curling his hands through his hair and tugging gently. 

Hundreds of years. He skims his hands down Pakottaa’s sides just to feel him shiver. He’d said it so easily, like it was obvious, like when he’d told Pakottaa that he’d be at next year’s post Equinox dinner, if he’d have him next year. Forever is a frightening concept, sometimes, but there’s a certainty in him that this is where he’ll be when he’s old and gray and thin, laughing into Pakottaa’s kisses. He’s played at love before, with noble men and women whose interest he piqued - him, a blind musician, reclusive and depressed. He’s not sure what they’d seen, at first, but they’d all cast him aside after a time, bored, or sick of him. He’s needy, he knows. The constant assistance and extra measures are too much for most people - letting him touch their face to see their emotions, explaining movements they made like nodding, having to guide him around, sometimes. It doesn’t seem like much, to him. Especially not when it’s happening, but most people don’t sign up for that kind of thing. A relationship would be dying, and he’d know because that assistance would taper off. He relies on other people too much. He loves too much and too fast - Pakottaa’s only current qualm with him, as far as he knows. Niles is determined to stay with Pakottaa for as long as he can. For as long as Pakottaa will let him. 

He thumbs at Pakottaa’s nipples, swallows the sweet noise that he makes like it’s the finest wine. Niles wants to write a song about this, thinks that maybe every song he’s ever written might have been about Pakottaa, but it’s not enough. He grabs him by the hips, pulls Pakottaa firmly down on top of him so that they’re slotted together in a slick, wonderful slide. With a gasp, Pakottaa parts from him, breathless, and Niles has never heard anything better than the way he says his name. There’s lips on his neck, suddenly, and teeth and tongue and Niles tips his head back with a trembling sigh, lets Pakottaa suck bruising marks into his skin. Niles throws a leg over the side of his hip, uses it to pull Pakottaa down and closer and  _ more,  _ and he feels Pakottaa’s teeth sink into his collar, and he knows there will be marks, it doesn’t matter that he can’t see them -

“Ah, Pakottaa -” he pants, when Pakottaa rocks against him again. “Pakottaa I - please.”

Pakottaa hums, inquisitive, and Niles knows that this is probably a taste of his own medicine from last time, but this slow, slick grind might actually, seriously kill him. Niles pushes back into him in response, clenching the sheets in tight fists. He’s not as strong as Pakottaa is by far, even though Niles is taller, so trying to get any leverage to fuck back into him leaves him gasping, core trembling, and he can’t keep it up for long. He tosses his head back into the sheets with a pitiful noise, and Pakottaa groans and grinds into him. 

It’s hot, it’s actually almost stifling. Pakottaa has his hands tangled in his hair, keeping him firmly in one place. His mouth on him is a molten drip of heat, their cocks sliding against each other like fire licking up his spine. The smell of pine wood that permeates the cabin mingles with the scent of sex, of sweat. “Niles,” chants Pakottaa, with every desperate breath, “Niles,  Niles, Niles - good - Stars, fuck - Ah, please! Niles, please more.” Pakottaa nips at his skin, tucks his head into the crook of Niles’ neck with a shaky sigh, and the hot breath on his new kiss marks makes him shiver. “Please let me.”

That’s not _fair._ That’s just - that’s playing dirty. Niles grits his teeth, casts about blindly on the bed for the discarded bottle. By some dumb luck, he lands on it, the cold brush of glass tucked up under the pillow, and he makes short work of uncorking it one-handed and dipping his fingers into the wide mouth. He caps it, holds it out. “Put this on the nightstand for me, please?” he asks, breathlessly.

“Uh, sure?” Pakottaa sounds confused, but takes the bottle anyway, and then all of his breath leaves in a whoosh suddenly when Niles wraps his hand around the base of his dick. He doesn’t waste any time slicking him up, keeps his grip firm and fast, and Pakottaa moans and bucks forward, fucking into the tight ring of his fist. He’s almost tempted to get himself in the mix,here, but decides against it in favour of giving Pakottaa some much needed attention. Pakottaa presses his face further into the crook of his neck, and he hears a somewhat distant thunk of the glass bottle hitting the wooden floor, which Niles pays little mind. Thankfully it didn’t break. Niles leans down until he can find the curve of Pakottaa’s ear, nipping at the tip of it gently. Curling his other hand around the back of Pakottaa’s neck, he thumbs the short, soft hairs there, tilts his head to the side so that he can kiss his way down to Pakottaa’s rapidly pounding pulse point and suck a soft mark into the skin. “Fff - fuck, Niles, oh -” Pakottaa moans, drawing him in so Niles can kiss that sweet mouth again, briefly, quick and filthy.

Niles draws back just barely, so that he can still feel the heat of Pakottaa’s breath over his lips. He smiles, sharp and wicked. “Yeah, please do,” he laughs, twisting his grip and making Pakottaa cry out his name again in that lovely voice. Pakottaa’s cock is a hard, hot line on his palm, average length but  _ thick _ , and Niles’ whole body hums with anticipation. He pokes his tongue out of his mouth to lick his swollen, tender lips, feels it twitch in his hand. Tempting though it is to tease him, he decides that any more would just be torture. He gives Pakottaa another few quick jerks before letting his cock go and slap against his stomach, and Pakottaa whines. Niles kisses it out of his mouth. He feels drunk, giddy on this, on them.

They pull apart, Niles panting for breath while Pakottaa gasps. Niles takes advantage of Pakottaa’s momentary distraction to swing his other leg over Pakottaa’s hip, twisting them both so that he’s sitting on top of him. He laughs at Pakottaa’s soft “Oof,” splaying his fingers over Pakottaa’s ribs, feels the steady staccato of his heartbeat under his palms. Pakottaa’s hands stroke over his hips, the sensitive skin of his stomach, and he makes a soft, pleased sound. Distantly, he hears the soft twitter of birds, and it dawns on him that the sun is likely starting to poke its head up over the horizon.

“You doing okay?” He asks, because Pakottaa is quiet, and still, and he wants to make this as perfect as possible. just for him. Pakottaa deserves nice things, and he wants to be one of them.

Pakottaa takes one of his hands, brings it up to press against his cheek, and he can feel the soft curve of Pakottaa’s smile. Niles smiles back, feels something soft and warm light up his chest.  “Mmhmm. You’re just - you’re beautiful.” 

Niles’ cheeks heat. “I -” _love you, I love you, I love you,_ sings his heart, like every other part of him, but he chokes it down, if only barely. “You’re amazing, Pakottaa.” He whispers, instead, and Pakottaa flushes under his hand, and then - 

\- Mouths around the meat of his thumb. Niles chokes on the air he was trying to breathe in to calm himself down. He gets about halfway through Pakottaa’s name when sharp teeth nip at the pad of his index, and he has to draw hand away to the tune of Pakottaa’s questioning, “Hmm?”

“You do that,” Niles breathes, reaching down, “And this will be over much too soon.” Pakottaa hums at that, and Niles feels Pakottaa's hand curl back over the bone of his hip, thumb tracing the inside of his thigh. He takes a deep breath, lets it out slow and shivery. His heart is hammering against his ribs, anticipation and  _ want _ settling heavy in his chest.  He trails his fingers down the tender skin of Pakottaa’s stomach until he hits the base of his dick again. Pakottaa’s breath catches in his throat but he doesn’t say anything, and Niles smiles, tries for tender and sultry and probably lands somewhere around lovestruck and giddy. Shifting back, he rises up on his knees. It’s not graceful, but the wrecked sound of his name from Pakottaa’s lips when he grinds down just enough to tease is more than worth it. 

He presses down again with more purpose this time, holding Pakottaa's cock steady while he works his way slowly down. He breathes out as steady as he can. There's a burn to the feeling, a not-quite pain. It's not unpleasant, but Niles stops halfway, squirms back up and then fucks down again, slow and even. Pakottaa's hands are leaving perfect fingerprint bruises on his hips with how hard he's grabbing him, keeps making overwhelmed little gasps and Niles moans with him, sinking down so he can feel him deeper. He let's go of the base of Pakottaa's cock, leans down instead to steady himself on his arms but his hands find Pakottaa's shoulders instead. The new angle is - good, better, sends a spark up through his stomach and Niles can't stop a breathless little noise as he grinds his hips down again and again until Pakottaa is all the way inside, until that pain has smoothed its way seamlessly into pleasure. He bites his lip, wiggles back and forth. “Good?” he asks, because if he tries for anything other than monosyllabic or Pakottaa's name it's gonna be a mess. 

“ _ Niles” _ Pakottaa chokes out instead of answering, and Niles moans as he pulls him down to meet his hips. Niles shuts his  eyes feels Pakottaa’s fingers skim over the soft skin of his belly like electricity racing through him. The next time he moves down, Pakottaa’s hips jump to meet him, pressing in deep and his breath stutters out of him in a shivery moan. Pakottaa’s hands skim back down, one around his hip and the other slips down around his cock, and - “A-Ah, Pakottaa- Good, that’s good, you feel so good.” The pace he’s set is so, so slow, a gentle push and pull and It’s so much and not enough at the same time. Pakottaa’s hips jump up to meet him on every downward turn of his own, spurring him to go faster, harder, but he- he can’t. Already, he’s breathless. He can’t focus, all he knows is the steady slick pressure of Pakottaa’s hand on him, the slick slide of Pakottaa inside him. Niles gasps, hollowly, under him, Pakottaa makes a choked whining noise, pulls him up off of him. “Wh-!” He jolts, straightens up-   
  
Pakottaa plants a hand on his chest, gives him a shove. The breath leaves him a whoosh as his back hits the mattress. “Pakottaa-“ leaves his mouth, shocked out of him, but it tumbled into a groan as Pakottaa sets his teeth into his collarbone. His legs dangle uselessly, draped around Pakottaa’s hips. Hot breath ghosts over his neck as Pakottaa lets out a shivery sigh. “Pako-“    
  
“Okay?” he kisses Niles’ jaw, the corner of his mouth, and Niles smiles, turns into it.    
  
“Yes,” he breathes into Pakottaa’s mouth. His hands find their way to his mass of hair, and he sets his teeth gently into Pakottaa’s bottom lip. “You’re perfect,” he tries to say, but he’s interrupted by Pakottaa nudging his leg up so he’s near folded in half. “Ah- ah that’s-“ he breathes as Pakottaa presses in again. “Kota-“ comes out of him in a whine, he has more words in his mouth but they come out in a jumbled rush of “Yes” and “please” instead of whatever he wanted to say and actually fuck it.  Whatever he was going to say doesn’t matter. The only thing that does is Pakottaa - the angle, the insistent press, the pressure. He feels like a firework is speaking in his belly every time he moves, making him gasp and twitch, fucking back as much as he’s able, making dents in Pakottaa’s bicep with his fingers. Noises stutter out of him at the relentless, ruthless pace that he’s set. Pakottaa’s teeth sink into his neck and he almost yells, scrabbling at the back of his head to try and hold him, pull him closer. He can’t breathe, everything is white hot, molten. Pakottaa presses his thigh higher, so it’s flush against his chest, and shit, he can get deeper this way. “God fuck that’s- yes, yes, yes that’s so perfect. Feels so good- you feel- aaah-“    
  
“Niles, ah-” moans Pakottaa. He has a fistfull of Niles’ hair, and he uses it to yank his head to the side, exposing his neck and leaving him open to his hungry mouth kissing and sucking sharply on the side of his neck, nibbling the shell of his ear, and, oh, Stars. He feels the shock of the cold against the back of his neck, the sting of his bites thrum through his whole body. Heat pools wet and heavy in his belly. Niles fists the sheets with his free hand, gnaws on his lip and whines high and helpless in the back of his throat, desperate to get some kind of release. All he can think is that he wants  _ more,  _ somehow.

He jerks his hand down to curl it around his cock, and, Gods, he’s so wet he should be embarrassed maybe. Precome drips over his hand as he jerks himself with fast tugs, and fuck he’s  _ so close,   _ but Pakottaa shoves his hand away to the sound Niles’ distressed sob. Instead, Pakottaa wraps his own hand, fire-hot calloused and perfect perfect perfect- around him-   
  
Pakottaa barely gets a hand on him before he comes, arching up off the bed so Pakottaa is as deep in him as he can be.   
  
The world is black and numb. Niles feel his whole body buzzing like live wires under his skin. Pakottaa makes another wordless, ragged noise into the hollow of his throat that Niles processes maybe seconds after it happens, and his own breath hiccups out of his chest when Pakottaa keeps moving. “Pakottaa, oh,” his voice sounds wrecked, shivery and breezy, and he feels his whole body shake without his say so. He twitches more than moves back and forth, panting like he just ran a mile, and with every thrust a soft noise escapes him. He swallows as Pakottaa fucks into him again, curls his fingers around Pakottaa’s jaw, rubs the length of his scarred ear between his thumb and forefinger. He kisses up the side of his neck, gentle and shaky, husks into his ear, “Pakottaa please, you’re so good- please come, please-”

“Oh, fuck, fuck, Niles-” Pakottaa makes a noise like a whine, followed by a stream of words that are mostly his name and expletives. Niles sucks a mark just below his jaw, hard and sharp and Pakottaa’s hips stutter to a stop buried in him to the hilt. Something hot and slick fills him, he can feel it leak out around Pakottaa’s length as it twitches inside of him. 

Niles makes a soft noise at the feeling, runs his hand through the wayward whorls of Pakottaa’s hair to distract himself. It doesn’t hurt, but he’s over sensitive enough that it feels like it might, or like it should. Pakottaa breathes heavy and hard against his chest, forehead tucked in against his shoulder and Niles hums and rubs his back, presses slow, wet kisses into Pakottaa’s skin. The cabin is filled with the sound of soft breathing and the somewhat muffled twitter of birds. Niles tucks his hand against Pakottaa’s chest, feels his hammering heartbeat gradually slow in time with his own. Eventually, Pakottaa draws back and out of him, and that  _ does  _ hurt, a little. His brow furrows, and a pinched kind of sigh escapes him. Pakottaa kisses him, deep and slow, and Niles moves up a little gingerly to meet him, moving his leg back down to the mattress. “Mmm,” he hums smiling into Pakottaa’s mouth, content, and he hears what might be a soft laugh. “You’re amazing. That was wonderful.” 

Pakottaa’s breath stutters and Niles laughs at it, gentle and soft.  _ I love you,  _ he thinks, privately, as he rubs his arms up and down Pakottaa’s strong back. He’ll say it out loud to him again, soon, but for now he’s content with the warmth of Pakottaa’s skin, the press of his lips on his. 

**Author's Note:**

> Melethen, íruidh : Sindarin Elvish for, basically, my love, you're beautiful/perfect/wonderful/etc  
> Melethen: My Love


End file.
